Without you, Falon, I would have never believed. I had reached a point in my life where I truly doubted if two people could be equally in love in a relationship. I knew two people could love one another, but didn’t believe we could be equally “in love” with one another. And yes “love” and “in-love” are different; I now know and understand that. I remember the day like it was yesterday, and it was over four years ago. You and I hadn’t spent much time together in a while so we met up for lunch. I couldn’t wait to hear about your fiancé and share with you the details on my new relationship. You didn’t have to say much about you and Nikki, your happiness was expressed in everything you said and did. You were a new person and I was so excited for you. I explained to you that my was good, not great and that he made me really happy 70% of the time! You questioned me and told me not to settle. I said I was ok with 70% of the time, and that everyone doesn’t experience the same happiness. I was truly convinced that you and Nikki were rare. You expressed otherwise and after over an hour of listening to you, we went our separate ways. While I appreciated the advice, it left me uneasy. For weeks and months our conversation replayed in my mind- three months to be exact. In that time, I attended your wedding and shortly afterwards I ended my relationship. I finally believed I was settling, and more importantly believed I was worthy of being in a great relationship. That the relationship Falon and Nikki had was NOT reserved for just a few. I knew that even if it took time, true love was what I deserved. After that relationship I sought after God like never before. Not just for guidance over my relationships, but sovereignty over my entire life. Two months later I met my husband Rodney. We met in February 2013, were engaged in December 2013, and married in August 2014. Never had I experienced a love like this before. We were both “in love” at the same time and eager to spend the rest of our lives together. I was no longer only happy 70% of the time. I am forever grateful to God for him providing the vehicle, Falon, to encourage me to never give up on love.
Not until the other day did I think about how my life and my decision to get married was influenced by Falon. I remember when she made the decision to choose God. I can still remember her telling me “I’ve tried everything and it hasn’t worked, so I am going to try God. What do I have to lose?” I watched her spiritual journey, and I watched her meet and marry the man of her dreams. I was influenced by her growth, and it made me want to strength my spiritual relationship with God, but I thought that my situation was different. I was in an on and off again relationship with my son’s father. So not having sex was not an option for me, or so I thought. During one of my “off” times with my son’s father (I was convinced it was the last go around), I was dating and I remember calling and talking with Falon and she was like “Kim if he is the man for you, he will respect you. He won’t need to have sex with you for you two to date. I was like “ok” all along listening, but still thinking I can handle this. This guy really likes me! Needless to say, it didn’t work out. At this point, I was now tired of failed relationships. I had kind of given up on love. Then my son’s father popped back up again. All of Falon’s words resonated with me. All I could think about was no sex before marriage. In my mind, I was thinking I have already had sex with him. Will this work? I made the decision and follow my friend’s advice. I decided to not follow down the same path. I told my son’s father if we get back together he had date me and that I was no longer having sex before marriage. To my amazement, he didn’t try to fight it. He was in agreement. He didn’t even try to spend the night at my house or anything. We wanted no temptation. It was like once I made the decision to respect myself, he fell right in line. We dated as if we had just met. Well to date I have been married to my son’s father for over 2 years now. I thank God for allowing me to see Falon’s walk with him. I am also thankful for our many conversations. I can truly say I married my best friend, but I would have never known if I had not allowed God to have the final say!